.Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?.

Grandpa died on thursday morning, which really sucked. After the accident, things kind of went downhill with his health, but it still sucked majorly. We're having a ceremony on boxing day because this is the first xmas in years that all 5 siblings will be in the same town for xmas as well as aunts and cousins et al. Even grandma is coming up, and possibly Sue.

So much for relaxing xmas break. I bet they'll be about 5 small fights, and possibly one huge blowout. After all, you cant have that many of my family members under the same roof without verbal bloodshed.

and to top it off, I have to be prepared to say goodbye to both Anniya and Arriana over xmas break, because Anniya is going back with her mom in march,and Arriana is going back with her dad.

First Nadya left, that was hard enough, then both babies are being whisked away. At least i'll be able to say goodbye.

I've always loved christmas, but I have a feeling that this one is going be one stressful event after another.

It's Saturday. I slept in, and missed brunch today, so I went down to the mall to do some shopping. When I was standing in line, I looked over and saw this old guy stare at me. Even when he realized he'd been caught he kept staring at me, so i smiled at him, because that usually either deters people or gets a smile in return. Instead, the old guy got mad, and shook his arms at me. I wonder what the heck is going on people's minds sometimes.

Online, I was reading about people called Barefooters, that totally go barefoot everywhere like at the mall and around town and everything. It's probably easy like in Hawaii, but here in saskatoon its totally impractical. I wish I had the guts to walk around barefoot everywhere. Like a Hobbit.
I've gone barefoot to the library in stellarton before, and around campus and the park and stuff, but that's in hot weather. I wonder if it's possible for me to go barefoot for a whole day here in saskatoon.

hey whats up

im writing this from my dorm room on my laptop. I'm in University,and it's Saturday night, Halloween night. I didn't get a costume this year. I couldnt think of anything I wanted to be. I was going to be a hobbit, but I couldn't find any vests or blouses that looked hobbity, and besides hobbits don't have dreadlocks. Most people are going to parties,but I wasn't invited to any,and besides i'm not a party person really.So i'm really bored just hanging out here. I called home, and dad's putting the babies to bed, but mom and polly and the girls are still out trick or treating so i'm going to call back later.

The other day I watched The Ring, and it wasn't hardly scary at all. When heidi saw it she was freaked out for like a week, and she told me the whole plot every detail. Maybe I wasn't really scared because I already knew what happened, but I don't know. The Ring 2 was actually a bit scarier I thought, because of the way Aiden was acting, and how the creepy chick kept following him around and stuff.

I watched the Messengers yesterday. It was funny how not scary that movie was. Some parts creeped me out, but I think alot of it was funny, like how the creepy ghosts scuttled like spiders and moved really awkwardly. That was like, What the Heck? I was surprised that Bobby didn't have a larger role, he was one of the reasons I was watching it to begin with.

cya

Bonny.

i had this weird dream that during the premiere of Alice in wonderland( the tim burton one), there was this weird occurance and suddenly mr pratt, the drama teacher from nnec was dead on the floor, and then everyone was so scared that they locked themselves in their homes so nobody could kill them.

then in another dream, i discovered someone had planted plastic explosives in our freezer so when it defrosted it would blow up. We started trying to dismantle it, and we couldnt so we ran away, then it turned out not to be explosives but a bug enhancer, that made ten times more bugs in the area, so they ate people alive.
we found out bombs and traps were set up to kill members of a secret society, and we had to go to their house and look through all their stuff to find bombs to save them.


I had a lot of weird dreams, then I woke up and found Katheleen wandering around the hallways at 5 am, calling pollys name and wandering around. When i asked her what was going on, she started mumbling undeciferable stuff, then yelling polly's name over and over, and screeching. so polly got up, and she told me katheleen was doing this for the last hour and half.we put her back to bed, and had to listen to her screaming for the next half hour. She woke up the other girls, and mom and dad and me and polly. everyone was awake except for the babies.

Even though I had no work today( my last day at walmart was friday) I still had to get up early at like 8 to babysit. Usually its 7, but everyone slept in because we were so tired. I have to clear out my room by thursday night, because i leave fri morning for saskatoon.
the job seems nearly impossible. I only managed to complete 2 boxes today, and i have a room full of crap to pack up still. which sucks.

moms birthday started out with us running around like fools trying to cook everything for her birthday party, then relaxing in front of the tv for the "greatest american hero". that was like 1 am or 2 am, then at five oclock all the kids got up and started playing and yelling in their room, which in turn woke all the babies,so everyone is super cranky.

I bought mom season 1 of the A-team, a show that we'd watched with her a long time ago, which i thought she might like. she didn't. she was like, ummm i don't like this show?????
thats cool.no sweat. a little disapointing, but no big deal.
the only big problem, was that dad couldnt find her a present, so he went and bought seasons 2,3,4,5 of the same show, even though she doesnt like it. and when she told him honestly that this wasnt her type of show, dad went beserk and started freaking out because she was too honest, and that he hated the present we gave him for his birthday(flat screen tv) so they had this huge blowout at like seven in the morning.

dads going to try and return the dvds and buy her a bike, which is what she was hinting at the whole time anyway.

moms birhtday party is tonight at her frineds house, and i cant go because i have to babysit some of the kids, and polly is housesitting and shes going to babysit two of the kids, so we can't even go,which sucks because i'd rather be going with Juice to hot shots, or to mike's house for movie night, on a friday night, since the rest of my weekend is totally shot. saturday we're taking the kids to cameron falls all day,and on sunday mom wants us to clean the whole day.

i cant wait for my week off in two weeks, because it means i can finally relax and sort through all my crap before i take off for uni.

last night, I went to hot shots with a few of my friends from work.(stacy, justin, aaron, mike, amanda, etc.) and sung karoke, and watched just for laughs gags. it was pretty cool.i stayed till eleven then went home. I would have stayed later, but it's my saturday which means get up at 6 30.

The plan was to make pancakes for the kids(which i did) and then take the girls to see UP the new pixar film at four. only that never happened.


so i got up really early, and took care of anniya till eight, when the other girls wake up. and then for the next twelve hours we babysat the four kids nonstop, which meant that they all ended up in timeout like twelve times each, and they screamed their heads off for hours, and one girl keeps wiping her booger in other kids mouths. and the three yr olds started spitting on the floor, and sherrina started saying " fuck, fucking, fuck fuck fuck" under her breath, and grinning when i overheard her, and gouging their impossibly long nails into pollys skin and making it bleed, and smacking us in the face or scratching us when we tried to put them in time out

in short, it was horrible, and mom was out at her concert all day, and dad was at work, so when we called for help or advice they were like oh we can't help. we even cooked dinner and started dishes, and bathed the kids and everything but when mom came home she was all pissed off because nothing was done and she was tired with a migraine and we had to clean polly's room.

then mom calls and says her and dad are coming home after they go out for coffee, so when she gets here,she's all pissed off the house is dirty even though we were here all day, and also she has all these plans for the night of cleaing to be done. even though she told polly on the phone that once they got home, we would have the rest of the night free, only she said that wsasn't true, because we have to rearrange both her and pollys bedroom and thats all night. it feels like im grounded not the kids because now i have to wait till maybe next week to go, and now mom says she signed up polly and i to go work at her stupid bingo hall for her dumb caribou carnival.

yay dinner. this family sucks sometimes.

today we had heidi's birthday party and it was really cool. we had the 5 kids ( Kora for the weekend.) and it was cool cuz we got a cake from the co-op with a picture of a goat on it, and we made bbq chicken and did all this cool stuff. it was sad because kora's foster mom came home early so she had to go home early, and she didnt get to stay even though she helped us plan the party. she was really sad. cute kid though.

mom and polly are switching rooms because heidi is moving out, so mom, dad, and anniya are getting the big room and polly and dude are sharing the little room.

btw, we are getting dude in the summer for six weeks, because his foster mom is going on vacation, so we get their brother for a while, even if it's not permanent. now we will have five kids and four grownups and only a seven seater car, which sucks but whatever.

all the kids really like wade, and spent like an hour beating him up with stuff like pillows and dolls and underwear and stuff. its really funny.

for the past two weeks, Nati has been driving me crazy because she keeps putting me on self serve for seven hours a day ( basically, you stand there and stare at the machines and help the occasional customer. mostly you just stand there.) and because of my constant boringness at work, i started to whistle various songs( mostly showtunes and metallica and rise against).

at first she didnt care, but then a week ago she started making comments like "what is that godawful noise oh, she's whistling again". finally she walked up to me, and said you have to stop this right now. no whistling. it hurts my ears.

normally i would have considered stopping for the sake of not wanting to start a ruckus, and because it hurts her damned ears, but this time i just told her NO, there is no rule against whistling in walmart, so no. she backed off.(keep in mind this is the same lady that screams at me in front of customers because i was helping them solve a problem, and the customer had to back me up, and the same lady that puts me on the till beside the front doors almost everyday in the winter at minus forty)

since i told her no, all the other cashiers have been very emphatic about how much they don't mind and how they wish they could whistle as well. the customers have been smiling more and being appreciative because they like my songs.

today on self serve(again.) Vidya one of the managers in the back walked up to me and said no whistling theres a rule, you know. stop it right now.

a rule? this was news to me. so i said, show me on paper this rule.

oh, she said. there is no rule actually. but you cant do it. its all about the Discipline.

the Discipline? what do you mean by that?

you know, the Discipline.
(she walked away in a huff, while i continued whistling.)

then there was a new cashier named Peter, a real douchebag. he goes on till for like five minutes then turns around and hollers at me "bonny, you stop that right now. you stop that whistling its annoying."

subverbiant little freak i am, i stop. half an hour later, after giving his ears a break, i decide to give it another go.

im not three notes into it, before peter the douche turns around and yells out " DIDNT I TELL YOU TO STOP. NO WHISTLING, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME MAD, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO THERE AND FIGHT WITH YOU. DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME IS THAT IT" super loud, and then turns back smiling to his taken-aback customers. by then Robert had also joined in whistling, so we both just kept on going.

So Nati called Vidya over and they both stood there and talked about this increasing problem that i was causing, and could Vidya please get me to stop. (i was ten feet away, no kidding i could hear them). So finally one of them yell out BONNY really loud which makes everyone stare at me, and Peter the douche gets this real triumphant look in his face like, oh look i've turned everyone against you in only four days sort of look.

apparently a few other cashiers have been told to stop as well, only they do stop because they're all too scared of nati to keep whistling.

its dumb because they're IS NO RULE AGAINST IT, and the managers DONT CARE IF I WHISTLE and my boss DOESNT CARE if i whistle, but nati keeps trying to turn everyone against me cuz she has the grudge against me for months now.

tomorrow i'm going to talk to Kathy, my boss and tell her whats been happening and ask her if its ok that i whistle, and if this harrasment continues i'm going to go find new work. maybe the movie theatre, and maybe extra foods or subway or something.

the other night i was super sick after I ate dinner, then at 230 am I puked all over my floor, and it stinks bad. and then i had to buy carpet cleaner to clean it. it was gross.

i caught the bug from polly, who passed it to anniya(now in hospital) and affected me, dad and heidi. SUCKS to have big family sometimes.

I got 3 new CDs today at walmart. Lynrd Sknrd, Boston, and REO speedwagon. yes, there's a whole lotta Dean influence in my shopping today. But I don't care.

Mom called a few minutes ago, to say she heard on the TV that JONAS BROTHERS are going to the Rexall place in JUNE in EDMONTON. OMG, I would totally go to a JONAS BROTHERS concert. polly's like not cool, oh i hate them. and i'm like super excited, even though i'm too old for the JOBROs im not a tween but I DONT CARE. I love their music so coolness and i have Kevin and Nick posters on my wall because they are so cool. although that doesn't say much- i have posters of everyone on my wall(Hobbits, wizards, Mr Smith, Indiana Jones, Mutt williams, Winchesters, Heroes,Smallville, Superman, Chess, and like many others.) but i like them so much.

so glad mom told me. i didnt even think it would be possible to ever go to a JOBRO concert in my life but i'm so excited.

tomorrow is the end of the charity things at work. and someone's winning an Ipod touch 8 GB at work in a raffle. i hope it's me. :D
i paid a dollar today to enter. i would totally want one, to try it out, and if i don't like it i could always sell it and save the money for UNI.

today polly is officially 18!!!

The baby was up all night long because she was sick, so I had to get up super early to help with the kids. Mom and I took the kids to go shopping all day, ( and so they could buy polly a bday gift) so that meant polly ended up babysitting Anniya all day, and Nadia for a few hours. We went to Walmart, and bought a full duffle bag of stuff, and they picked a hoody for polly and a Justice League cartoon DVD. The family pitched in and bought her a digital camera, and parents bought her a skiing package. yeah.

We rented the 2nd Libraian film( the Judas one) and a Dora film for the girls.

I have now officially applied to University. WHOOO.

We're supposed to have a bday party for polly, but its like 7 30 and dad is insisting the kids need to get to bed, even though we bought all this junk like sundaes and ice cream and root beer for the kids. :(


I didn't get to clean my room or dye my hair this week ( this is like the 4th week in a row i never got anything done. I got up at like 2 AM to apply to uni, because today was so jam-packed it was the only time i could apply.)

My stupid new camera got new batteries today, and they ALREADY ARE DEAD. and those DAMNED batteries cost 10$ for 2. mom's buying me and polly the charger type for me and her birthday(which is EXACTLY what I was asking for.) so hopefully that would work better.

and CLOSED BREAK GOT A NEW CHAPTER 13 POSTED. OMG LIKE A WHOLE YEAR HAS GONE BY. MY FAVOURITE EVER NATIONAL TREASURE FANFIC IN THE WORLD.

and it did NOT disapoint.

Went to go and see Push, and Slumdog Millionaire at the theatres this week. Slumdog was really good, and I liked Push alot, although there were alot of inconsistencies in the plot. I really liked it though, it was very interesting.

Yesterday on Saturday, it was my Saturday,which means I have to get up early like 7 30 to babysit the kids ( me and polly alternate weeks) and turns out I had to babysit all day. So I babysat all 4 kids ( Sherrina, Katheleen, Nadya and Dude) for 12 hours. was forever. It would have been five kids, but Anniya is still in the hospital. I don't think i am even getting paid for babysitting the kids for 12 hours, because mom only pays me ten bucks for a few hours up till ten a.m. dad did buy me some pepsi and some cotton candy ice cream as payment, but a full day of babysitting from wake up to bedtime is worth a lot more then a can of pepsi and bowl of ice cream.

And this morning we didn't go to church, we were going to go visit Anniya and Mom in the hospital( mom's been there like almost a week to take care of the baby.)
So I babysat this morning for a couple hours, and they made a huge mess all over the floor with catfood and her water and threw it on the floor and I had to clean it all up. We were going to visit the hospital and go to tim hortons and walmart, but when we brought the kids to the car the car wouldnt start, so we have to keep them here, and mom's bringing anniya home in a taxi later on.

its been a really long weekend.

I don't know, it's just crazy here right now, and the fact that dad and polly have a zero patience level when it comes to screaming kids means that I have to do double duty when mom isn't here because dad and polly screamed at the kids yesterday when they wouldn't shut up and the kids started to cry because dad screamed at them and it terrified them, so i had to entertain them with the monster game and watching little mermaid so they wouldn't get underfoot of dad, which sucks cuz i had a whole list of things I was supposed to do - clean my room, sort my boxes, apply to university, dye my hair red, catch up on Medium, sew Anniya's blanket. But now I have to watch till next weekend.

:(

ive been sick with a horrible cold/earache since thursday, and I keep getting these weird dreams. like the other day i dreamt me and polly were babysitting Aniyah the baby at the playground and she was sitting in her stroller and then someone pushed her stroller down the hill and we had to chase her. and then she landed in a puddle of water, and there was a stick thing wrapped around her and i was like, ok let's move the stick and grab the baby before she gets hurt. but then we looked closer and realized that the stick had eyes and was a crocodile/snake creature. so polly said quick bonny go find something to kill it with. i was like i need to find a Winchester rifle or a coil of rope or a fire extinguisher, but i couldn't find anything. then polly attacked the crocodile with her bare hands and threw it in the air and it died, and and we saved the baby.

and last night i had a dream that heidi was giving all the kids Xfiles books to read and Sherrina didnt want to stay at our house anymore, so she ran onto the roof of our apartment complex, and there was a road covered in snow on the roof. and she took off. and we all went on the road in our pyjamas to find her and she was lost. and then i decided to sneak onto the top floor of the complex so i could play in all the empty rooms and peek down at all the neighbours without them knowing. but mom came up and said come down now. so we dove and hid under the sheets protecting the furniture and fell asleep. then we woke up because sherrina came back because she couldn't find the right bus stop to escape form us and we were so glad that she finally came home again.


weird dreams, huh.

baby Aniyah finally came home from the hospital, long story short shes in our care not her familys for a bit longer, and i took 3 days off work to babysit her and sherrina. good news is kathleen recovered from pneumonia so shes back to school and polly's pink eye cleared up. haha.

we made raisin cookies with the kids today so that was cool. and we watched arthur and stuff. and i told sherrina she could pick any movie she wanted after lunch and she found dad's classic horror film collection, and wanted to watch a vampire film cuz she thinks vampires are funny. so we watched Nosferatu from 1922, silent film. and she thought it was hilarious cuz dracula bites them on the neck to suck their blood and johnathan and nina kept falling over unconscious, and everyone kept dying from vampires.

mom got all pissed off that i showed sherrina nosferatu because she's only 5, but she LIKES vampires and this was the least gory of the vamp flicks we had. as in no gore whatsoever. no blood or anything. it was the cleanest film like ever, and she still got pissed. i saw edward scissorhands and star wars and sorts of films by the time i was sherrina's age, so a little vampire flick shouldnt have been too bad.

back to work on monday.

im going to see the opera on saturday with mom its called Ceaser and cleopatra starring christopher plummer. it looks pretty good.the movie is playing at our theatre.

A couple days ago, we got a call that we're getting our first long-term foster kid. She's 3 and her name is Nadia. Hard to take care of because she is ADHD and FAS and all that. Then last night we got 2 new kids at like midnight and they're possibly long-term, 3 and 5. Mom stayed home again, and it was probably hard because the 3 older ones spent the whole day fighting over toys and driving each other crazy.

we finally got an offer on the house but its much too low then we were expecting.

mom's thinking of quitting at the city hall so she can stay home with the kids.

It was super cold here the last week at like minus forty and fifty. but the radio said that on thursday its supposed to be like minus eight, and on saturday its supposed to be like four degrees celsius which is so totally absolutely amazing.

I went to a gun class with polly yesterday and it was super awesome because we got to learn all the basics of shooting air rifles and then we went on the range and we shot both the small targets and the larger targets and we did super awesome and polly got a bullseye, and we got junior memberships to the gun place, and we get to shoot both air rifles and air pistols. freaking sweet.

yesterday we got chelseas parcel and it was really cool. it was also new years eve, which sucked cuz i had to work till 6 then babysit aniyah the baby alone, but then i got heidi and wade to stay over and polly came over and we had a party and it was cool. we played apples to apples and ate junkfood. it was cool. some of the questions were so random.


whos friendlier a cockroach or a mortician?

whos more irresistable, a school bus, a forest fire, or James Dean?

(polly was convinced forest fire should win, but James Dean any day).

and what is more shiny, Fort Knox or a bottle of water?

things like that.

wade and polly were super competitive and they battled over every question so it was pretty entertaining.

we also watched Corner Gas(the littlest Yarbo) and Singing in the rain(which pissed off Wade hugely because he hates musicals and he was so bored like mad).

but it was fun though.

mom's friend Roseanne died yesterday morning. it was really sad because she had cancer and was put in the hospital on xmas morning and finally went to a coma by new years and died.


found out that one of the characters on Supernatural episode Hollywood babylon is fictional, which sucks because she was made out to look like a huge horror movie actor, and then when i asked mike at work who was this Tara Benchley girl i never heard of, then he told me this huge list of films she was in, and what movies she'll be in next year and all details about her, and how wonderful that this famous chick was on supernatural, and yet she doesn't exist. wonder if he realized it was fake or was pulling my leg. not sure if i should break it to him that his horror chick only exists on SPN.

I don't work today because it's January 1st, but I work tomorrow and then the weekend off which is pretty cool.

so we passed the test, and we should be getting the kids on saturday. we have 2 sets of bunkbeds to set up, and mom bought a bunch of extra chairs and mattresses so we have enough.
a few days ago dad hurt his elbow cuz he fell on the ice. i took a few pictures cuz he was laughing so hard he was almost bawling.

I bought corner gas season 5 yesterday. its totally worth it. my favourite episode is when the ladies teach Hank how to knit, and he tries to avoid Emma at all costs because she talks too much.

i'm going to go see Twilight on saturday matinee with mike. it might be good i never read the book so i don't know. but its Cedric. thats worth something.

i'm buying a camera for Aaron tomorow on my lunch break because the 20 percent sale ends friday and he needs the money for rent, so he cant buy it till saturday which is after the sale is finished. he already owes me 40 from last week, so im just going to tack it on. he's pretty reliable about paying back, so its not too bad.

finally went to the monkey tree bar, the one everyone talks about. big whoop. it kinda felt like a cross between the Roadhouse, and Kilkenny's in calgary. it wasnt as cool as everyone proclaimed it to be.

so we're supposed to get 3 foster kids on monday, and the room they are supposed to share is completely packed with all our junk from the storage unit, so now we're sorting out like 100 boxes of crap in 3 days which is my only days off all week and its really stressful because mom is like, Family Cleaning Week !!!!! and yells at us for not cooperating even if we have to do stuff like work(heidi works today and moms been complaining ever since heidi left about how she should have stayed and helped us) and dad sleeping till 10 am( he got home from work at 2 and got up early to drive heidi) and crap like that. now all the boxes are being sorted all over the house, making it one giant craphole. and it sucks.

I took a few pictures with my camera so i am going to post some of them on here.

I saw Jude, the australian birish guy this morning it was really funny. have yet to ask him exactly where his awesome accent is, but will do son enough. he's darn cute though. and a HUGE LOTR fan, hence his sinver one Ring.

we went shopping like all day today, and i decided to buy a digital camera finally, so i did. we went to Roys audiotronics first, they are more expensive but they know what they are doing so. i bought a two hundred dollar black kodak camera at walmart after shopping forever. its a ten megapixel and HD quality and very JIMMY OLSEN top notch camera.

also dad finally set up my computer in my room so i have wireless internet on my computer so happy.

went to see charlottes web play at sir john and it was pretty good. a bit hokey but they did a good job. the pig was really funny and he squealed so bad when they fed him medicine. and Templeton the rat was played by willem thomas this short loudmouth kid who i guess grew like a foot since last year, he's a giant! he did such a great job though, lol it was hilarious. polly said that colton pellerin was wilbur but actually he is just the gander, so i dont know why she said that. probably just to convince me to go see it with her. either way.

we have to do some cleaning in a few minutes. so i guess thats all i gotta say for now.

Bonny.

finally got my bed set up, so now my room has So much more space in it. under my bed i put my trunk, and my armchair, and i put the dresser against the wall beside where my computer will be tommorow. its looking good.

i went to the legion on tuesday, and it was alright, too military for me, plus i was youngest besides heidi and parents. ate some moose meat chili. got sick. ended up barfing 8 times including all over classroom floor for history class, which nadi ( manager at walmart, and janitor at st pats) had to clean up. thankfully she hasnt mentioned it. stayed home sick wednesday, and am better now.

also embarrasing fact, went into gym for service on tuesday, and tripped on the upturned carpet, and fell on my face and scraped my knee and palms IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE TOWN. so embarrasing. and all the ladies were like OH MY GOSH IS SHE OK, and then i started laughing so hard and got up and kept walking to my seat, and everyone looked shocked because i was hurt but laughing.

yeah i puked chili 8 times. awkward.


almost done season 3 of Supernatural. only 2 episodes left. the episoe "dream a little dream of me" was an eye opener of what Dean thinks but will never admit even to Sammy. It was very interesting.